Shought Thoughts from the jelly between Sara's ears.
I have come to a realisation about this website.
…my realisation is that it’ll never ever be “finished” and that I think I’m OK with that.
That its purpose is to keep me tinkering with it. It’s my shed at the end of the garden, where I go to lose myself in flow-state for a while.
Pet theory alert:
One reason why new parents often feel isolated and lose their feelings of individuality, may be that they are not seeing other people with strong identities and stand-out looks.
Once we have kids, we get immersed into a world of babies, comfy clothes, daycare, exhaustion and… that’s often it. Those of us who are working may be working from home or in an out-of-town office.
We’re surrounded by other parents too. Often we’ve moved into the suburbs, away from city life.
I’ve been through all this. I like our home in the suburbs, thankfully as otherwise being stuck in it during a pandemic would have been less nice.
But since I’ve started a new job in a bustling and characterful part of the city, where I walk past all kinds of people wearing all sorts of different styles of clothing, and I’m starting to remember what it felt like to not only be “mamaaa”.
Got the chance to flex my #ASCIIart muscles - @robb set up a cli for https://omg.lol and was generating an image of the mascot @prami - I was like wait, let me do it!
____ ____ ,-"" "-.-" ""-, / __ . . . . __ \ | ( ) '--' '--' ( ) | \ "" , , "" / ", "---" ," ", ," "-, ,-" sjw "-,_,-"
Three years lying in wait, trying to avoid a disease is a long time.
And then it got me anyway, 3 months after the last booster, my 4th vaccination against covid-19.
All that time, I’ve been reading stuff, some of it horrific, about the dangers of microclots, long covid, loss of brain function.
I’m worrying about every headache, am I losing cells?
Watching the elder of my two sons who has also tested positive, for any signs of Bad Things that may be happening on his insides.
Oh woe. After many drops of my phone - even outdoors on concrete - where it survived, the screen finally went ping after falling off our sofa onto the wooden floor.
Sadly the Pixel 4a isn’t very fixable; parts are hard to get and then they’re hard to fit.
Second hand they still cost a lot in Germany, but apparently not in the UK, where I’ve sourced one for far less to be sent to my mother.
Now I’ve put a screen protector on this smashed one to keep the shards of glass in place however, I’m finding myself still fond of it. It still works fine. I don’t want to start using the ‘new’ one and break that one too!
I’ll be glad to have a spare for if/when I really do kill this one. Android phones of this ‘compact’ size are rare.
I have been considering making a jump away from Gmail for a while, I feel like it’s a good idea to lessen my reliance on Google.
Finally a few things came together which gave me a direction to go, i.e. to Fastmail.
Sometimes I just have to force myself or I waver for days, getting ever more annoyed - so I bought 3 years of their service.
There’s nothing like spending a bunch of money on something to make you use it!
I shed my react tears at work and then bathe in glorious vanilla at home
It’s just occurred to me that I’ve recently started describing myself by my job title, in my bio.
For my entire working life I’ve been allergic to describing myself by my job title, or talking about my work. It was never an identity I wanted to consider myself as, or spend any extra time outside of work hours talking about.
But now I’m finally doing something I mostly find fun, in a company that has good values I agree with, and it’s like, oh? All that time, I didn’t know this was possible.
I feel like it could either be a very long blog post, or a very short one.
Let’s go with short:
In 2022, I managed to claw my way out of my depression, and after re-training myself in modern web development, scored a new job in a company that really suits my values, doing work that actually entertains me.
The kids as ever have been a source of joy, frustration, exhaustion and love. My husband is the very best.
In all, it has been a good year 🥰
Lately it’s become clear that the web isn’t so different than it used to be, in function.
You can still just write your own website in HTML, CSS and maybe a sprinkling of JS, like it’s 2002. Just for your own fun, your own corner of the net.
Yeah, there are lots of whizbang interactive websites and web apps built with a lot of logic using libraries, frameworks, or site builders, or backed by wordpress - but also - you don’t actually need any of that stuff to just put your personal page online.
I don’t get it. I don’t get it. I don’t get it. There’s so much. I just don’t ge—
I get it.
Along comes the next thing:
I don’t get it. I don’t get— ad infinitum
I think the deal is that those things we don’t get are increasingly more complicated, so we improve, but we spend just as much time in confusion…
“I don’t need to rest! I don’t need to rest! I don’t need to rest!”
…and then promptly fall asleep.
“I need to rest! I need to rest! I need to rest!”
…and then stay up for too long every evening.
I am a largely neurotypical cis woman, in a happy monogamous hetero marriage, I use she/her pronouns - and I also really love bright colours and rainbows and human rights and dignity for everyone.
I can come across as LGBTQ+ and while that’s totally fine with me, I’m just one of the vast majority of cishet normos who deeply dislike any hate on our fellow humans, for just being who they are.
👍 enjoying the comfort of a big cosy cardigan worn over loose dungarees
👎 having to remove the warm cardigan when needing to use the chilly bathroom
I wish humans had 12 fingers. ‘Digital’ (or ‘Decimal’) would then be base-12. I wonder what the two extra characters would have looked like.
I’ve just decided that the term ‘developer’ does not only refer to my working output, but also to myself. I am developing.
The many definitions of development are all about growth, change, realisations, processes, renewal, improvement, advancements in skills/ability/quality…
To be an effective developer in a field which is constantly changing, we have to keep developing ourselves to keep up with it.
As if the code and the people are all part of the same ongoing process of development.
Suddenly I’m feeling full of what-ifs but you know what NO I’m a fully rounded interesting person who has had lots of interesting experiences and I love my family and home and I’m here NOW and that’s all that matters
When your children are young, life is fraught
Days are long, but the years they are short
The hope is that they
Will be happy some day
So the love and stress won’t be for nought